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When I was 11 years old, my mother silently snuck into my bedroom. Under the cover of midnight, she sat cross-legged at the end of my bed and proceeded to give me The Talk, although it was more of a whisper.

Instead of focusing on the anatomy of sex — the biological prophecies by which, some say, our bodies were made to meld into one — my mother chose to emphasize pleasure.

She spoke about the importance of passion: pursuing it, asking for it and finding it within yourself. Society has a tendency to perpetuate this idea that the older a woman grows, the more she yearns for the beauty of her youth.

It was once bewildering to me that my mother could be so candid about sex. But after speaking with Sylvia, Barbara and Michele — all women 70 or older — about their relationships to pleasure, I now realize that some women only grow more comfortable in their sexualities and in their bodies as they age.

I was born in Alexandria, Egypt, but I left very early as a stateless political refugee. We had a very hard time getting to the United States because the immigration quota system was in effect there — there were something like 17 Egyptians allowed in annually.

We spent several years moving around Europe just trying to make it to the top of that list. My parents were always acutely aware of the fact that they were immigrants.

There was always this underlying current of fear that something was going to go wrong. They never spoke about sex — absolutely not.

It was something that was not talked about, at all, ever. One time, actually, I caught my parents having sex.

When I was in seventh grade, I fell madly in love, more than I have been in my whole life. It was really intense. We got back together years later to figure out if it was meant to be.

Something has come up. And we decided that we were not, after all, meant to be. When I was younger, sex was fun.

And I was lucky — I came of age after the arrival of the pill and before the arrival of AIDs — so we had a lot of time to really screw our brains out.

We did! We slept with everybody. Just everybody. It was something that we could do all the time and we had great drugs that enhanced it.

We had a lot of fun. And then it just came to a stop. Life really stopped being fun. And I became a drug dealer. It was a good way to make money!

I ended up getting busted a year later for what was, at the time, the biggest federal bust for LSD. There was this big conspiracy trial.

I had been living with my friend from high school, Bryce. He went down to see Bryce, who was also in jail, and paid his bail with the understanding that he would marry me.

Now, nobody told me about this. I got two years of probation, and Bryce went to jail on weekends for two years.

I have since come to realize how lust, love and pleasure work. A lot of this stuff only exists for the species to reproduce, and it only lasts long enough for that to happen.

It fades, and it fades fast, in my opinion. We lived in a human filing cabinet. I was doing any type of clerical position that people would hire me for.

I had absolutely zero self esteem. I was never in love with Bryce. I met someone else while I was still married to him. Dumped him in about 24 hours and moved in with the new guy.

Philip, the second guy, had awakened my desire to have children. I guess it was in the process of trying to have children, and having a hard time in doing so, that sex became more necessary in accomplishing a goal than something that I was really enjoying.

I had evolved — I was about 37 when I had my first child. But I do wonder if it had more to do with guy I was with. He was a psychopath, and still is.

I eventually left my second husband. You really need to do something for yourself. They gave me a full free ride. I was 57 at the time. I studied everything — being in school really grounded me.

I realized what it really is that I have always loved doing, and what I truly want to do, which is write.

I graduated with degrees in evolutionary biology and writing fiction. It was the happiest and proudest day of my life. I was pleased as punch.

I get a feeling like I have a halo of light flashing around my head. Every single neuron is in sync. It is just dazzling. I love that more than anything in the world.

I had a very attractive man sleep here a few years ago; he had been a professor of mine. One of my friends asked if I was going to approach him in the middle of the night.

And you know what I said in response to my friend? My idea of great sex nowadays is lying on the bed next to him, with his arm around me, as he reads to me.

I grew up in Brooklyn, New York. My parents never gave me a sex talk — they divorced when I was seven years old.

My mother was single and dating other men, doing her thing. At 21, we moved out together and shared an apartment.

We just had the most fabulous time. Then she got married when she was 26, and my heart broke. To be cut off from my sister was very difficult for me, but it was a good opportunity to go out and do something on my own.

I loved being single. So, yes, I thought about getting married and having children. At first, I wanted someone to take care of me — it was what everyone was doing in those days!

You could go out, you could meet men. You could sleep with men! There was a point in my life where I was dating a lot of different men, and that was great.

If you only have experience dating women your own age or younger there are some big mistakes that you need to avoid. Fortunately for you, we have asked 43 dating experts to share the biggest mistakes that younger men are making.

Make sure you don't become another guy who can't handle an older woman. This is a pointless strategy because they both offer something totally different.

Younger guys need to work out what the older guy is lacking rather than what attributes he has. For most people, sex drive does decrease with age.

However, that doesn't mean that a woman wants to be with a man who she feels no spark with. If a guy wants to be successful at dating and getting into a relationship with an attractive older woman, he needs to ensure that he actively creates a spark of sexual and romantic attraction, rather than only being nice and friendly.

If you're having trouble getting enough practice we recommend you check out our best recommendations of where you can find single cougars near where you live.

We provide a lot of great local recommendations that have worked for us. Sometimes younger men may be in awe of the older woman's experience a bit.

Remember, having a plan and leading accordingly turn any woman on, regardless of age. Yet, some guys let themselves fall into a "junior" role with an older woman, which soon leads to loss of attraction.

One of the most common mistakes I see men make when dating an older woman is handling her the same way they would a younger woman. Older women tend to be more mature, which may appear to make some of the things a younger man might do seem out of character, which ultimately makes the older woman feel uncomfortable.

The solution is to be conscious of the age difference, and to cater some of the activities throughout the relationship to also suit her needs.

The biggest mistake younger men are making with older women is treating them as if they're the same age or younger. Older women are generally not interested in constantly texting or being asked out via text.

Also, they will not respond to men on dating sites or social media if the message is something like, "Hi" or "Hello".

There are many more men interested in relationships with older women than there are women available, so younger men need to bring their "A" game.

For guys who are pretty good at text communication already, or want more practice, there are some really high-quality cougar dating sites out there that we recommend.

Try them out and see the results we saw. Remember that your opinions count. Just because she's older and presumably wiser doesn't mean that she gets to call all the shots.

There are two people in this relationship. You'll need to get comfortable exchanging roles as to who leads.

It's an equal partnership. This attitudinal choice works to your benefit. You're establishing that you're the man. Yes, you work with your mate.

And yes, you listen to her wants and needs. But you have your own ideas and approach. In order to keep the passion and desire alive, she needs to see and feel your strength.

It's an animal thing. Women need to know they have a real man by their side; capable, decisive and confident. To be honest, this mistake is something that happens for everyone but more so for men who are dating older or younger.

The biggest error a man can make is trying to be someone else other than himself. What guys can do is really get clear on who they are as a man.

If they like video games. Own it and talk about it with passion. If they like politics…. Owning yourself as a man is the sexiest thing a man can do!

If you are going to date an older women you can use the opportunity to learn and grow. An older women will definitely appreciate honesty.

Really try to figure out what your needs are and communicate those needs honestly. Don't be scared to let her know who you really are. Younger men frequently get too attached to older women.

Remember, she's been around the block a bunch more times than you have, and this is less of a big deal to her than it likely is to you.

So try not to get too melodramatic. She might think it's cute, but if she usually dates older men she's used to guys who are a little more grizzled with her.

Many men make the huge mistake of trying to show off and impress older women. You don't need to try too hard and overdo things.

It's the small gestures such as remembering things that are special to her or cooking a nice meal that are much more important. Even though she is older, she still wants you to be the protector, to make her feel safe.

She also wants you to take the lead and have a plan — for example, a date idea or a weekend away. Younger guys who date older women almost always fall into the trap of thinking that the only thing that older women want is sex.

That may be true in some cases, but for the most part, one of the reasons so many desirable older women are in the market for a partner is that the older men they've dated did not share emotional intimacy, a heartfelt romantic connection, or make them feel respected as a person.

Never take an older woman for granted. She will notice everything and she'll break if off if she thinks you only want her for sex. Statistics have shown older women to be significantly more sexual than younger women and I've found men to be very lazy in their courting process.

Although older women have strong sexual urges and sometimes a lot more sexual experience, men do not take the time to properly court an older woman to have her interested in him and find him sexually appealing.

Sorry guys, older women cougars are simply not just DTF whenever you call. A woman is a woman - old or young, and they are, for the most part, drawn to a man who can take charge, make decisions, and stand his ground.

This doesn't mean that they want a jerk, that's not what I mean at all. They want a man who will stick up for himself and be supportive and protective, even if they can support and protect themselves.

The biggest mistake I see men make is putting older women on a pedestal. They think because the women are older, the rules of dating and attraction don't apply to them like they apply to the younger women.

But they couldn't be more wrong in this assertion! All women respond to the same attraction triggers. And no single woman is off limits.

If an older woman is out and about looking to meet men, have the utmost confidence in yourself that that man could be you.

And use what you know about dating and attraction to give yourself the best chance at dating her. The biggest mistake men make when staring a relationship with an older woman is to bring sex up too early in the relationshiplike on the first phone call or first date.

Many men want a guarantee that they will have good sex. So they want the goods up front. The problem with this is that older women feel like these men objectify them.

They want good sex, tooall in due time. So, get to know these amazing women first. Sex will come, and when it does, it will blow their socks off!

Which means you will end up: Alone. So, if you are dating an older woman, make sure to ask her about her day, her feelings and her dreams.

Be a good support to her, as she most likely is to you. Let her talk it out. Sometimes women need to talk to figure things out. If you have a good solution, ask if she would like to hear it rather than assume she would.

Bottom line, listen more, talk less. Researchers have confirmed that most women who use online dating sites have serious concerns over the authenticity of the guys they are messaging.

Breaching her trust early on can stop a budding relationship in its tracks. If you want to have kids but your lady is at a time in her life where she doesn't or can't have children, be realistic about the fact that this can't be your forever woman.

Too many times I see couples postpone or abandon their dreams because they fall in love - or in lust - and think that problem will just work itself out.

Usually you can coast through the relationship for a few years but if you have a major difference in how you see your future, eventually your relationship will crumble.

Again, older women have life experience. They have been through the dating process to a much greater depth than younger women for the most part so they know that immediate love is fleeting love.

They differentiate between lust and love. They do not want to deal with a needy boy smitten after one date, they want a man on their level.

Older women can see through the bullshit quickly, so be honest. When taking her out on dates, pick something affordable. She wants companionship and fun so be yourself and continually try to do some self-improvement.

We live in a society in which women are already insecure about aging and having relationships with younger men.

The worst thing a man can do is play into that insecurity. For the most part, large age differences between partners is more socially accepted when the man is the one who is older.

Men need to be aware of and sensitive to this. They should not draw attention to the age gap with their comments or behaviors. Too many younger men give women reasons to be insecure.

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I had a very attractive man sleep here a few years ago; he had been a professor of mine. One of my friends asked if I was going to approach him in the middle of the night.

And you know what I said in response to my friend? My idea of great sex nowadays is lying on the bed next to him, with his arm around me, as he reads to me.

I grew up in Brooklyn, New York. My parents never gave me a sex talk — they divorced when I was seven years old. My mother was single and dating other men, doing her thing.

At 21, we moved out together and shared an apartment. We just had the most fabulous time. Then she got married when she was 26, and my heart broke.

To be cut off from my sister was very difficult for me, but it was a good opportunity to go out and do something on my own.

I loved being single. So, yes, I thought about getting married and having children. At first, I wanted someone to take care of me — it was what everyone was doing in those days!

You could go out, you could meet men. You could sleep with men! There was a point in my life where I was dating a lot of different men, and that was great.

But as I grew up, I decided that I wanted just one person. It had to be someone whom I cared about a lot. Growing up, I felt like a lot of my friends were having sex with men just because they wanted somebody to be with.

Somebody to stay with them. And that was never important to me. Everything changed for me! I got married 12 years after my sister did — at 38 years old.

I wanted a partner in life. I used to see women with men, and the men were so obnoxious. Any man who is clingy and all over me, I have a real problem with.

He is very interesting; we have a great relationship. He does his own thing, and I do mine. We had major issues because our families are different ethnicities and practice different religions.

But ultimately, we decided to elope. So she came, too. For me, the only way that I can feel pleasure in a sexual relationship is to be with someone whom I really care about.

Who else can give you pleasure? Can you experience different pleasure with different sexual partners? But it still has to be somebody that I care about.

I experienced sex as it happened. Was it frightening to have sex for the first time? But I knew what pleasured me. As I got older, it got a little bit easier.

I think it is something you have to do. The attitude around sex has changed so much since I was younger. It makes a difference. Sex is very emotional.

What if you have sex with someone and afterwards they never talk to you again? It happens a lot! You have to be ready to understand that.

Miami Beach was only 30 years old. It was a sunny childhood, full of blue skies and warm waters, which really allowed me to think of other things beyond my own physical body.

I was able to explore the world around me with a wonderful sense of freedom. People would sit outdoors in the evening and watch the stars or Venus rising, admire the sunset over the tree lines.

There was no distraction from the forces of nature. I was raised in a home that celebrated pleasure. The pleasure of daily life was emphasized. It was important to celebrate each meal.

Nothing was done with haste, just to get through the day. Meals were always a special time full with pleasure — the pleasure of the food, the pleasure of the taste.

In fact, meals were seductive. It was full of pleasure! The pleasure of the sun and the salt. It was not lost on my parents. They knew the seasons.

They knew when you could smell the fertile earth! Everything was celebrated. Sex was a natural part of living. My parents were openly affectionate.

It was never hush-hush. As we became teenagers — and of course, the rules were different those days and sex was not discussed in the same way — my parents never told me that I had to be a virgin when I got married.

They never asked what I was doing with my partners. They would hear me giggle and ignore it. They trusted my own ability to monitor my life.

A lot of this came from my mother: Her sense of respecting the body translated into sex. My respect for my body being the temple that houses the higher faculty of the mind came from her.

Sex and pleasure were never connected in my life. I felt like pleasure was everywhere all the time, but sex was a very specific act. Pleasure, on the other hand, was a lubricant.

Sex still felt like something to be preserved by two people who wanted to use it as a way to bond deeply. They never discussed it directly, but you knew it from the way my father admired my mother, the books they read, the references.

It was so there. We openly discussed films and literature which had sexual content, which in the time I grew up, was repressed and taboo.

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